Helene Combe

Through my journey as an English teacher and a language learner

Month: December 2016

Love?

I have been thinking a lot lately.

Well, I admit that my thoughts were mostly about love.

I got married recently, two months ago to be precise. I met my husband four years ago, and I didn’t want to date him, I wasn’t convinced for a long time to be fair. I never imagined myself with someone like that, and it was weird at first to realize that I had been wrong for a long time. I still wonder why I doubted for so long.

Today, a couple of friends broke up. I have known them since three or four years, maybe more, and they were together since two years and half. One of them cheated, the other found out, they yelled, they call it quits, classic scenario. Cheap one. You have heard of it a million times. Why do we keep doing the same mistakes all over again?

Is this some kind of twisted joke?

Why aren’t we capable of pure, meaningful, strong love, like we used to dream about when we were kids? What is love now anyway?

How do you know when the person next to you is the right one? How do you know that you are in love? Why don’t we stop to hurt the people we care most about ?

My friend, the one who cheated, she was devastated and she hated herself for what she had done. Nothing will change fate, or what happened, but still, she had hope she could be forgiven. But forgiveness doesn’t mean amnesia and she couldn’t forget why she cheated which was boredom.

What is suppose to happen once the first sparkles are out? How are you suppose to handle life if the routine speaks for yourself? You get married, so you have something to talk about – that could be a sarcastic answer.

More importantly, why does love suddenly become so hard to understand?

 

A lot happened lately.. (and not only in the US politics area)

You may think lately “why did she create a blog if she’s never gonna post a damn thing on it?!”

My friends, a lot happened lately.

First of all, I turned 28 last week. I thought it would hurt, that I would be crying, praying God to make me younger. The truth is: I have never been happier. And you know the whole irony in that little random sentence? I took a huge turn recently, and I feel like it was, for the first time, the right thing to do.

When I was a kid, I pictured myself as a writer and a teacher. I just wanted, you know, be passionate about something and to share it with others. But life happens, and I ended up going on business school and hoping for a good position on a real estate company.

Flash forward from that dreamy little girl to last summer. I have been working on the same company (that real estate one I have been talking about previously) since two years and a half, when my boss looked at me, and my fancy diploma and asked to answer the phone and to open mails, because someone more competent than I was had been hired.

Guess that moment was about to define everything that went wrong with me in the past decade. So, I did some research, applied to some courses, and waited. I got married between all that process, but, still, I knew that, for once, I was thinking at myself and not what my parents, my friends, anybody around here could think.

The results came back quickly, to be perfectly honest. I was in, I was accepted! I was coming back to stage one: which is being a student, but I couldn’t be more excited. So, I told my boss.

He reacted like any boss could have reacted, only more violently.

“You show no respect.”

Yes, I do. I show respect to myself, because for the first time in my whole life, I stepped up for something I cared about. For once, I fought, and I won. Because whatever happen before, it’s erased and I can have a clean slate. And for the first time, I think about myself first, because last time I checked, I was able to make my own choices without asking before. I may leave a job, but it’s no vain. It’s no game. It’s no whim.

Yeah, a lot happened recently: I learned how to stand up by my own side.

 

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