If you have been following me on Twitter, you are aware now that I have been referred on Delta Module 2 and that I didn’t take it gracefully AT ALL. Let’s start with the obvious: clearly, I have overestimated myself, and underestimate the amount of work I would have to do.

I started my MA in Applied Linguistics and TESOL in September 2018, eager to learn more and I was quickly disappointed: too general, not enough practice, I felt like I had made a huge mistake.

I also had a lot of work back in the day and one of the training center I worked for was starting to piss me off. By January, I was done with them for real, but it caused a lot of stress to work for people who around zero consideration for their employees. Also, I had eye surgery, which went pretty bad, which means that I almost completely lost my right eye (it was scratched pretty seriously during the surgery).

So, the first semester of my MA wasn’t the best one, but I passed anyway. I started the second one with more motivation, and it was, indeed, extremely interesting. I still missed the practical aspect of it, so I applied to do a Delta at ITTC, and if you have followed my blog, you know what happened there.

I came back to France in September 2019 with new students, new challenges, but also, a goal in mind: sitting for the Module 1 of Delta in December. But clearly, I needed a tutor to make me study, and it was too late for the December session: I decided to reschedule for June then. I got sick, endometriosis was kicking my ass, and I started the second year of my MA a week late. And then, I got it: the email which said that I had been referred.

Was I surprised? Yes.

Was I upset? Hell, yes. I am still upset, to be honest.

Was I close to stop everything? No. No way.

Despite having to do LSA4 again (grammar), my portfolio got accepted, which means that the rest of my work was okay. I didn’t mean that I was not a good teacher nonetheless.

I started to think about the reasons I had to want so badly a Delta and a MA, I mean, my job wasn’t being threatened or something like that. Nobody had forced me, and I teach in companies and local private universities, after all. But I knew, deep down, what had motivated me. I am nonnative speaker, who realized at 26 years old that she wanted to teach. I started “late” (I passed my TKT at 28 years old, then continued with a CELTA), I knew I was starting with a handicap, being a NNS, and I wanted to make up for the years I had lost. But were they really a loss?

After all, I do teach Business English and ESP, not Academic English, which means that my professional experience also matters. And the fact that I am turning 31 pretty soon is not that late (in France, it’s still quite unusual to go back to college), I can still complete my MA and finish my Delta.

So, I am trying again LSA4. I’m doing research on native speakers for my “World Englishes” module, and the due date for this paper is the 24th of January. I like that topic, I should start writing pretty soon, but I am not completely done with the research part yet. It didn’t completely break me to know that I was referred, but it certainly wasn’t expected. It made me realize the amount of pressure I had put upon myself, and that it was not the end of the world to delay Delta after all.